Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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