i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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