ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
