: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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