Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Houston, we have a blender
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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