A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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