tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
