she pinky promised me she was 18
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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