it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
