Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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