I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
