AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
