Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize