I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
