i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I still have a little drunk in my system
Success! We fucked roommates!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize