first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
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