i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
