he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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