if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
