so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
