I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
