I feel like abortions should bother me more
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize