At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
