Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
