She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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