I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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