I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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