My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
