There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize