he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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