somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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