It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
