Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
