And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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