Banned from zoo.
Again?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
