just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize