do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Found the puke drawer
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
