Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
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