my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She's the barista slut.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
