Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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