at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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