you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
