No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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