THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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