Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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