but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
