she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
