wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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