I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She bit a glass in half.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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