I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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