Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize