I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
