There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize