Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
