i think my mom watched the whole time
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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