yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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