Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
