I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Too much gin, very little bucket
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
