Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
