Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
