she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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