my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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