Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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