dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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