i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
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