Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
